Error message
- Deprecated function: TYPO3\PharStreamWrapper\Manager::initialize(): Implicitly marking parameter $resolver as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in include_once() (line 19 of includes/file.phar.inc).
- Deprecated function: TYPO3\PharStreamWrapper\Manager::initialize(): Implicitly marking parameter $collection as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in include_once() (line 19 of includes/file.phar.inc).
- Deprecated function: TYPO3\PharStreamWrapper\Manager::__construct(): Implicitly marking parameter $resolver as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in include_once() (line 19 of includes/file.phar.inc).
- Deprecated function: TYPO3\PharStreamWrapper\Manager::__construct(): Implicitly marking parameter $collection as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in include_once() (line 19 of includes/file.phar.inc).
- Deprecated function: UpdateQuery::expression(): Implicitly marking parameter $arguments as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in require_once() (line 1884 of includes/database/database.inc).
- Deprecated function: MergeQuery::expression(): Implicitly marking parameter $arguments as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in require_once() (line 1884 of includes/database/database.inc).
- Deprecated function: SelectQueryInterface::getArguments(): Implicitly marking parameter $queryPlaceholder as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in require_once() (line 1884 of includes/database/database.inc).
- Deprecated function: SelectQueryInterface::preExecute(): Implicitly marking parameter $query as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in require_once() (line 1884 of includes/database/database.inc).
- Deprecated function: SelectQueryExtender::getArguments(): Implicitly marking parameter $queryPlaceholder as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in require_once() (line 1884 of includes/database/database.inc).
- Deprecated function: SelectQueryExtender::preExecute(): Implicitly marking parameter $query as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in require_once() (line 1884 of includes/database/database.inc).
- Deprecated function: SelectQuery::getArguments(): Implicitly marking parameter $queryPlaceholder as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in require_once() (line 1884 of includes/database/database.inc).
- Deprecated function: SelectQuery::preExecute(): Implicitly marking parameter $query as nullable is deprecated, the explicit nullable type must be used instead in require_once() (line 1884 of includes/database/database.inc).
Quantum Sock Theory
The advent of mechanised means of cleaning clothes brought new
challenges and exposed new phenomena unexplainable by the old manual
theory of laundry. In particular, the discovery of spontaneous sock
disappearance was totally contrary to the principles of pair production.
A new theory of laundry was required, one that took into account
quantisation of the textilo-clothic field, whose quantised carriers are
called lint. Not only did the new theory correctly predict the
sprectral distribution of coloured lint appearing on a black garment,
but also the phenomenon of tunneling, the disappearance of socks from a
nominally closed laundry system being one of the more startling
consequences.
Socks obey Hoson article statistics which apply to
indistiguishable articles of clothing such as a pair of socks. Socks do
not like to be in the same state, even the same country, let alone the
same washing machine. When brought into violent collision within the
agitation cycle, and the spin cycle in particular, the inter-sock
potential can reach such high levels leading to an interdimensional tear
in the fabric of spacetime. How this actually occurs is still uncertain,
requiring a deeper theory which can take into account the discontinuous
nature of fabric at the Pluck length. The leading, or most
vocal, candidate for such an ultimate explanation is called Thread
Theory.
Sock Chromo Dynamics (SCD) is a development of the basic
theory to take into account another property of socks, which Sockocists
whimsically have called colour. However, it seems that, unlike spin or
charge, colour is not a conserved quantity, especially in the presence
of bleach. It has also been posited that a phenomenon call
mixing can also occur. Observed is also the related phenomena
of Fashion Violations, such as the wearing of different
coloured socks, but this is usually only observed in Universities,
especially Maths, Engineering and Physics departments.
Sockocists are eagerly waiting for the completion of the LHC
(Large Hosiery Collider) which will be able to explore the collision of
heavier or larger articles, such as stockings, pantyhose and tights.
Vigorous tumbling of these larger articles may lead to insights into the
elegant, but yet unproven, Twisted Theory and even the more
abstract Knotted Theory.
Category:Quantum
Fun
Last modified:
Monday, October 26, 2015 - 17:56
